To This Day
by pft980811
Summary: Just a story about bullying. Inspired by the poem "To This Day" by Shane Koyczan. SuzakuxLelouch One-sided LelouchxC.C. NO IT HAS NOT BEEN EDITED THANK YOU VERY MUCH! I hope you like. READ AND REVIEW!
1. Chapter 1

**Disclaimer: I do not own these characters or the lines from "**_**To This Day**_**."**

**We Made It**

_**~Third Grade~**_

I watched as my classmates played on the playground while I waited for Lelouch in our classroom. I was able to see my reflection in the window. My green hair, yellow eyes, and…my body. My ugly body. I lightly pinched the fat that was hanging off me and I knew that, even though Lelouch has told me otherwise, I was ugly. I glared at myself; I glared until I heard the door of the classroom open. I turned, expecting to see Lelouch, but was faced with his twin sister. Marianne Lamperouge. She was followed by her "friends."

Marianne quickly noticed me and turned to her friends.

"Hey, Rakshata! Nagisa! Pork Chop is here!" They all turned to face me. "Hey, Rakshata. You're the smartest here. Is it possible to be that fat?" Marianne pointed to me and laughed. Her so called "friends quickly joined in. I didn't say a word because I knew that it was only going to make it the situation worse. I quietly watched as they sat down in their seats near the front of the class.

It was less than three minutes when Marianne turned back towards me. "So, Pork Chop! Where's my worthless brother?" Nagisa, a total sheep, offered a suggestion.

"Maybe the little shit finally died! At least now we won't be able to see his ugly ass face!" They all laughed like it was funny. It wasn't funny. Not to me. I feel the tears; they begged to come out.

"…don't…" I couldn't get the words out. I felt a lump form in my throat. I hated when people talked about Lelouch's wine stain.

They immediately stopped laughing. Rakshata was the first to talk this time. "What the hell did you say, Porky?" I stood up.

"Don't say those things! Lelouch isn't ugly!" Marianne was the first to recover from my outburst. She stalked silently towards my seat. Right when she opened her ugly mouth, Lelouch opened the door and walked in.

"Sorry I'm late, C.C., but Mrs. Ja-" He quickly stopped when he noticed Marianne, Rakshata, and Nagisa. I saw his eyes widen with fear. Nagisa stood up and walked towards Lelouch.

"So, Faggot, how have you been? Your face looks especially ugly today! Did you even try cleaning your face?" I saw Lelouch start shaking even harder the closer Nagisa got. I remembered how Nagisa gave him the now light purple bruise on his wine stain. While I stared at Lelouch, I failed to notice that Marianne had gotten close to me. She was bigger than me so she was able to push me down to the floor. I heard a cry from Lelouch so I knew that Nagisa punched him.

"YOU'RE SO DAMN UGLY! WHY CAN'T YOU JUST DIE!?"

I felt Marianne land a kick on my stomach.

"Hey Rakshata! Do you think that if I kick her hard enough, she'll throw up her fat?"

Rakshata only watched. She was always the weakest of the three and that was only because Marianne and Nagisa took martial arts classes. I looked across the floor and saw Lelouch curled up on the floor. Our eyes met and I knew that it hurt Lelouch much more. He felt the need to be a man. To be strong enough to protect me, but wasn't because he was born weak. We knew that, before the bell rung, we would quickly be stuffed in a supply closet somewhere on campus. That was the routine that happened at least once every two months. We counted.

**~Fifth Grade~**

Lelouch and I watched as the new kid introduced himself. His voice was firm and loud enough for everyone to hear. We could immediately tell that he, in some way, was just like us.

"Hello, my name is Suzaku Kururugi. I'm eleven years old." He, strangely, bowed and said, "Please take care of me." The entire class started laughing. Except for us. Lelouch and I rarely laughed in school anymore. I felt sad for him; he was going to be treated like us. Maybe even worse than us. I didn't immediately notice the sparkle in Lelouch's eyes, but when I did I was confused. It left me wondering if Lelouch liked Suzaku. _Well, if he likes Suzaku, then I'll make sure we become friends with him. Maybe Lelouch will thank me and notice me! _I thought to myself. Even though it took me a while, I had finally realized that I liked Lelouch. I liked him a lot. While Mr. Ackley searched for a seat for Suzaku I stood up.

"Mr. Ackley, Suzaku can sit right there." I pointed towards the seat next to Lelouch. Mr. Ackley smiled at me.

"All right Suzaku. You can sit next to Lelouch. Lelouch, please raise your hand." Lelouch made a small "eep" noise and the entire class started to laugh at him. I stared down at my fists, trying to calm myself as I watched Lelouch from the corner of my eyes. His face was red and his beautiful purple eyes started getting watery. Suzaku quietly walked towards Lelouch and the entire class stared with excited eyes.

I realized that they were waiting for Suzaku to say something. With a sinking heart I realized that this was Suzaku's chance. His make it or break it moment. If he rejected Lelouch, then he would be accepted by the rest of the class and, eventually, the rest of the school. If Suzaku accepted Lelouch, then he would be forever rejected by others and accepted by us. I closed my eyes and waited for the awful blow to fall on Lelouch. It never came. I opened my eyes and looked up. Suzaku's face held a kind smile and his green eyes held a strangely warm smile. A smile that I didn't like. Suzaku raised his hand and held it out to Lelouch.

"Hi, Lelouch. My name is Suzaku. I hope we can become good friends." Lelouch's face was no longer a full on blush, though a small blush was still there. His eyes were also brighter and he lifted his hand. Lelouch slowly brought his hand up, almost as if he was afraid that, if he touched Suzaku, then he would wake up to find that it was all a dream. I looked towards the rest of the class. I noticed that most of them had anger on their faces. The others had an almost pitying look about them. They knew that there was another person who was going to be bullied without mercy.

I looked back towards Suzaku and I wondered what kind of friend he would be.

…

Lelouch and I led Suzaku to the roof top of the school. I took the lead when Lelouch started to talk to Suzaku and nearly walked into a wall. I could hear Lelouch giggling about something that Suzaku was doing. Suzaku was starting to annoy me. I was about to chew him out for but then Lelouch out right laughed.

Lelouch laughed.

Lelouch _laughed._

_Lelouch _laughed.

It was a pretty laugh. I snuck a look behind me and saw that, while Lelouch was laughing, Suzaku stared at him as if he was the most wonderful thing in the world. It hurt when I saw Lelouch look back at him with a similar look. When we finally made it to the roof, I gave a relieved sigh.

We sat down in the shade and began to eat lunch quietly. Suzaku sat waaaay to close to Lelouch, but I didn't say anything. I gave Lelouch my apple and he gave me the pizza slice that his mother had packed him. Suzaku offered me a rice ball and I…gratefully accepted. I didn't offer Suzaku anything. He already had enough to eat. Yeah, that's it. After we finished lunch, I stood up and brushed off my dress. I then pointed to Suzaku and I didn't hesitate with my interrogation question.

"So, why are you an outcast? What's your story?" Lelouch gaped at me before he scolded me.

"C.C. that wasn't very polite!" I turned to him.

"You know that he has a story too, right?" the look in his eyes said it all. Suzaku, who had stayed still, gave a small nervous laugh.

"Why do you think that I have a story?" I rolled my eyes.

"Because we have stories too!" I sat down and straightened out my legs.

Suzaku stared at Lelouch but wasn't really looking _at _him.

"My parents left me and I was adopted. I guess that's why I usually get bullied." Suzaku looked away and towards the floor. It was starting to get awkward so I decided to redirect the conversation. To me.

"Well if you haven't noticed, the reason I'm bullied is because I'm fat and ugly. That and I'll stand up for others who are being bullied. They also like to call me Pork Chop." Lelouch, who was still standing, turned towards me with an angry look.

"You are not ugly! You're beautiful and you know it! Why can't you see it!?" He started to pace. I looked up at him and gave him a look that I hoped said "really?"

I looked up towards the sky. "You know, you can be such a hypocrite sometimes." I turned back to Suzaku and pointed to Lelouch.

"If you're blind, then the reason that Lelouch is bullied is because of his birthmark." When I looked back over to Lelouch I saw that he had his back turned. Suzaku cocked his head to the right.

"Why would they bully you over that? It seems like a stupid reason." Suzaku turned to Lelouch who had turned back around.

"Yeah, I know. The thing is Lelouch believes them when they tell him that he's ugly, stupid and worthless. The thing is they're wrong about him!" I smiled. "He's smart and a good friend!"

Lelouch and I turned towards Suzaku with wide eyes when we heard him say "Not to mention beautiful." Suzaku quickly looked away with a huge blush. "I-I mean…" Luckily he was saved by the bell.

…

We were the first to arrive to class even though we were probably the farthest ones away from it. We stopped smiling when we came to the front of our desks. Lelouch's had a white sheet of paper taped to the front of his. It said:

**BEWARE **

**Of ****DOG**

Suzaku caught Lelouch as he fell and held him as Lelouch cried into his school uniform. As Suzaku comforted Lelouch, I grabbed the stupid piece of paper, tore it to shreds, and threw the left overs away. Sayoko and Marianne appeared at the door and laughed. Sayoko seemed to do a pose before she pointed towards Lelouch.

"Your face looks like a wrong answer that someone tried to erase but couldn't quite get the job done."

I hated them. I hated them all. Except for Lelouch and Suzaku. Never Lelouch or Suzaku.

_**~Tenth Grade~**_

As we walked out of school on a bad day, Luciano pushed Suzaku. Lelouch and I quickly came to his side even though we both knew that Suzaku was stronger than Lelouch, me, and Luciano combined.

Lelouch was the first to speak. "Why the hell did you push Suzaku, Luciano!?" My glare grew stronger when I saw Luciano's grin widen.

"I'm only trying to help the princess, Faggot." Luciano turned to look at Suzaku and his brown eyes darkened into a glare. "Yeah, we know your life sucks and what not, but here is a word from the wise: Get over it. Your parents left you so what? Everyone's gonna leave you. The Faggot and The Fat Ass don't give a piece of flying crap about you. They're only using you as a meat shield. They won't even care if you are hit by a car. Hell, they'll probably be the ones driving it!" After he finished being a bastard, Luciano left. We were quiet. Suddenly Suzaku's face lit up with a smile.

"I forgot something in class, don't wait up." He ran back towards the school building. Lelouch turned towards me and immediately said: "Something's wrong" then dashed off towards the direction that Suzaku was headed. When we entered the building, Lelouch headed towards the rooftop entrance.

"Lelouch, where are you going!? The classroom's that way!" Without pausing Lelouch answered me.

"Just trust me!" when we finally made it to the top of the stairs, we quickly burst through the roof top door. What I saw shocked both of us for a good five seconds before we panicked. Suzaku was standing on top of the stone rails. And he looked ready to jump.

Lelouch was the first to get to Suzaku and he quickly hugged Suzaku's legs around the knee area. "Suzaku! What the hell are you doing!? Get down from there!"

Suzaku tried to look anywhere else but he ended up looking at me in the eye. I was still a bit shocked.

"I…I have to do this…nobody…there's nobody…that wants me here…" Lelouch and I watched as Suzaku silently cried. He turned so he could look at the both of us before he gave us a wry smile. "Even you guys want me gone."

Lelouch let go of Suzaku then stepped up on the railing to stand alongside him. And slapped him.

If Suzaku wasn't an exercise nut/superhuman, then he would have probably just fallen to his death. Lelouch gave Suzaku the full force of his glare.

"WHY THE HELL WOULD YOU THINK THAT, YOU ASSHOLE!? DO YOU REALLY THINK WE'RE THAT CRUEL!? DO YOU THINK WE'RE LIKE ALL THESE OTHER DUMBASSES!?" Lelouch made a sweeping motion outwards towards all the students leaving the campus. As he continued, Lelouch's voice got quieter and quieter. "DON'T YOU THINK THAT WE ACTUALLY CARE!? Cause we do you know! We do! I…I…I love you…" Lelouch started to sob. "I love you an-nd you-you wer-re get-get-getting ready to leave-us…"

Suzaku, as if he had just woken from a trance, blinked and a wrapped his arms around Lelouch. He quietly led them both down from the rails and onto the floor of the roof. When they were on solid ground, Suzaku held Lelouch at arms-length and asked him a very stupid question.

"Do you…do you really love me?" Apparently, Lelouch thought it was dumb too. He stopped crying long enough to give him a "Duh" look. I looked away as they…

My heart hurt a bit, but I knew that I never did or ever will hold Lelouch's heart. It had been painfully obvious that they loved each other but…now that it is official…it was just so much more painful. But I knew I could get over it. I knew because I loved them both.

When we finally decide to leave, we slowly walked back towards the school entrance. Right before we walked out of the school, I smacked Suzaku upside the head three times. Suzaku rubbed the spot before he gave me a weak glare.

"C.C.! What the hell was that for!?" I smiled evilly at him.

"Three things." I brought up three fingers as I listed my reasons. "One, for scaring me. Two, for making Lelouch cry. And three, for making me run."

We started laughing as we headed home.

_**~Senior Graduation~**_

I watched as Lelouch delivered his speech that every Valedictorian had to deliver before him. As always, Lelouch delivered it flawlessly. A few chairs down, I could see Rakshata, who was the second runner up, seethe with anger. During the ceremony, I clapped hard and heard a "GO LELOUCH!" from Suzaku when Lelouch got an award that was signed by the president himself! I also gave a satisfactory clap when Suzaku also got an award that was signed by the president for being the most athletic student in the country! I was actually surprised when I got an award for being the most improved in Physical Education. Well, not really. I _had _looked into a mirror that morning. My green hair was long and silky. My yellow eyes were brighter but my body was…beautiful. I had _curves! _The good kind! Though, I would probably never be as beautiful as Lelouch (he would have probably yelled at me for that) I knew I could still turn a few heads.

After the ceremony, the three of us met up. As we talked about each other's awards, a camera man started walking around. He took a few pictures of all the people who tormented us when I finally remembered the small poster that I had in my huge pocket. I shouted towards the cameraman.

Everyone turned towards us and I unfolded the poster and held it up. There were gasps that came from all the people around me (including Lelouch and Suzaku) while I stood still with a grin so wide it hurt. But it felt so _good!_

The cameraman started taking pictures like crazy and at different angles. Luciano then charged at us. Well, Lelouch anyways. Just as he was about to hit Lelouch, who was starting to cover himself, Suzaku did this weird roundhouse kick. But in the air. In the freaking AIR!

As we all stared at him, Suzaku simply shrugged. "What? He was about to hit my boyfriend." Lelouch blushed before he turned to the side a bit; his nose slightly in the air.

"You could have taken him out without mercy you know." Suzaku smiled warmly and hugged Lelouch around his waist.

"Fine, I'll try to remember that next time, okay Lu?" Lelouch turned back towards Suzaku and let their foreheads touch as they stared at each other's eyes.

"Fine." As they kissed, I looked down and at the poster in my hand.

**Class of:**

**F*CK OFF! WE MADE IT!**

**Sincerely,**

**C.C., Lelouch, and Suzaku**

**(For the stupid people who know us by Pork Chop, Fugly, and Stupid)**

I so needed to frame this.

**COMMENTS:**

**This is for all of us who have been bullied. I myself had been. I guess I put a little of myself into C.C. ^_^; I actually made a poster based on the poem "To This Day" it says:**

**Johnny, Anthony guess what? You were wrong.**

**I'M F*CKING BEAUTIFUL **

**Except the "beautiful" part is in cursive. I got the idea for this because we had a Bullying day at my high school and I saw this video for a poem called "**_**To This Day" **_**by Shane Koyczan. Almost everyone was in tears. (Myself included) it's on YouTube so go check it out if you want.**


	2. Chapter 2: EPILOGUE

**Disclaimer: I own nothing except plot.**

**To This Day**

_**~Ten Years Later~**_

I stood at the podium and watched as all the students filed in. As I expected, they all looked bored out of their minds. Well, I can only hope this would catch their attention. When I was given the okay, I started off.

In the best monotone/boring tone I was capable of.

"Hello. My name is C.C. I am here to teach you about bullying." I dragged the stool that was available to me across the floor to the very front of the stage. I was glad to see that the loud screeches of the stool legs brought their attention back to me. I smiled and began.

"When I was a kid…" I could already tell that some of them were expecting me to say that I was bullied. _All in good time. _My smile widened. "I used to think that pork chops and karate chops were the same thing. I thought they were both pork chops. And because my grandmother thought it was cute and because they were my favorite, she let me keep doing it." Now they were interested. I could see that even the teachers were wondering how this became a topic of food instead of bullying.

"Then one day, I fell out of a tree and bruised the right side of my body." I continued to tell them about how my P.E. teacher noticed my bruise and thought I was being abused. I told them how my classmates gave me the nickname "Pork Chop." At first they all thought it was a bit funny but by the time I had gotten to the part about my best friend being called ugly, their smiles slowly disappeared. I recounted the time that we had gotten beaten up.

I told them about the time his own twin sister taped a "_Beware of Dog" _sign to his desk. I said the exact words that a bully had told my best friend that he was "a wrong answer that someone tried to erase but couldn't quite get the job done" just because of his birthmark that was on his face. At the end of that topic, many had silent tears on their faces. I had some of my own. A white haired teacher came on to the stage and offered me a tissue box. I smiled and noticed a tag that said Mao. And that he was pretty cute.

I then continued on about how my best friend and I befriended another boy and, because he had befriended us, he was bullied as well. I told them how my newest friend's parents had abandoned him and how he was an adopted child. I told them that he was a very depressed boy and how I watched as he and my first best friend started to fall in love even though they went through even worse bullying because of it. I told them how they finally got together when my depressed friend tried to kill himself because he thought that nobody could love a messed up person like him.

I told them about our struggles. Our falls and climbs. Our love and loyalty for each other. Our graduation day. They all started laughing again when I mentioned my poster and I even showed it to them. (I did frame it.) When I finally reached the end, they all seemed to hang on my every word.

"That entire…that entire journey for us…" I looked up towards the crowd. "That journey helped shaped us into the people that we are today. For the bullies: bullying will do nothing for you. It will only tire you out and make you old." Many chuckled at that.

"To the bystanders: what are you waiting for!? A written invite!? The people you watch that are getting bullied could end up being your future friends. Leaders. Maybe even lovers." There were so many catcalls to the last option. I stood up and made a sweeping motion towards the crowd

"And to the victim: if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself get a better mirror. Look a little closer. Stare a little longer. Because there's something inside you that made you keep trying despite everyone who told you to quit. Build a cast around your broken heart and sign it "they were wrong!" You _are _beautiful. You _are_ worth it. You are _loved." _I was once again crying. I bowed the same deep bow I once saw Suzaku do.

"Thank you for listening to me." As I walked off the stage, I heard their thunderous applause.

…

As I walked towards the spot where Suzaku and Lelouch were waiting for me, a blonde girl with blue eyes walked up to me with her friends following behind her. She introduced herself.

"Hello, my name is Milly Ashford and I just wanted to tell you that your speech was sooo inspirational!" a little girl with red hair and blue eyes jumped next to her friend. She was blushing so hard I was surprised she didn't faint.

"My name is Kallen Stadtfeld and you are my new hero!" A blonde boy with blue eyes turned to the red head.

"My name is Gino and I love Kallen!" the red head nodded and yelled: "Yeah! Wait-what!?" Kallen then proceeded to kick Gino in the shin. A bunch of the started talking at once.

Soon, Lelouch and Suzaku made their way over to see what the commotion was all about. The moment Lelouch said hi, they all stopped and stared. A girl with pink hair then gasped and pointed to Lelouch.

"It's you! You're the one with the wine-stain!" Lelouch turned his face towards me and raised an eyebrow.

"You talked about me?"

Right when I was about to answer, one of the little boys came forward. His name was…Gino! Gino then proceeded to say something that lit Lelouch's face up.

"You're very pretty, ma'am." Suzaku gave a small chuckle and then proceeded to wrap an arm around Lelouch's waist.

"I know right? Lelouch is very-" Suzaku was interrupted by a loud "Mommy! Daddy!" Both Lelouch and Suzaku turned towards Nunnally and Rolo as they ran towards them.

Lelouch was the first to answer. "What is it, darlings?" Nunnally and Rolo both looked distressed.

"Arthur is pooping blood and making sad noises! He needs to see a doctor!" Suzaku quickly said excuse me before he dashed off to the car.

Lelouch and I quickly said goodbye to the children and headed towards the car. Suzaku met them halfway and looked a bit apologetic.

"Well there's some good news and some bad news." Lelouch pinched the bridge of his nose.

"Well what's the bad news." Suzaku hesitated for a moment before answering.

"Well, first of all, I was wrong about Arthur being a boy and, second of all, there's a bit of a mess in your car, Lu."

Lelouch looked like he was about to explode but, instead let out a ginormous sigh at the sight of Suzaku's hopeful face. "Well what's the good news?"

Suzaku himself gave a small sigh of relief. He turned back to the car and, after some hissing and "ouch, Arthur!" he returned with two wet little kittens.

"We now have a kitten for Rolo and another for Nunnally!" When Suzaku, Rolo, and Nunnally smiled, I knew they won Lelouch over.

I looked Lelouch in the eye and said "One big happy family."

After we put Rolo and Nunnally in their seats we prepared to get into our own. Almost as if we read each other's minds we looked back at Ashford Academy one more time. After getting a good long stare I turned back to Suzaku and Lelouch.

"We made it."

**Comments:**

**Sorry, I felt the need to end it with a "Ten years later" scene. ^_^;**


	3. Chapter 3: POEM

Disclaimer: I own nothing except the comments XD

"_To This Day" _By Shane Koyczan

When I was a kid

I used to think that pork chops and karate chops

Were the same thing

I thought they were both pork chops

And because my grandmother thought it was cute

And because they were my favorite

She let me keep doing it

Not really a big deal

One day

Before I realized fat kids are not designed to climb trees

I fell out of a tree

And bruised the right side of my body

I didn't want to tell my grandmother about it

Because I was scared I'd get in trouble

For playing somewhere that I shouldn't have been

A few days later the gym teacher noticed the bruise

And I got sent to the principal's office

From there I was sent to another small room

With a really nice lady

Who asked me all kinds of questions

About my life at home

I saw no reason to lie

As far as I was concerned

Life was pretty good

I told her "whenever I'm sad

My grandmother gives me karate chops"

This led to a full scale investigation

And I was removed from the house for three days

Until they finally decided to ask how I got the bruises

News of this silly little story quickly spread through the school

And I earned my first nickname

Pork chop

To this day

I hate pork chops

I'm not the only kid

Who grew up this way

Surrounded by people who used to say

That rhyme about sticks and stones

As if broken bones

Hurt more than the names we got called

And we got called them all

So we grew up believing no one

Would ever fall in love with us

That we'd be lonely forever

That we'd never meet someone

To make us feel like the sun

Was something they built for us

In their tool shed

So broken heart strings bled the blues

As we tried to empty ourselves

So we would feel nothing

Don't tell me that hurts less than a broken bone

That an ingrown life

Is something surgeons can cut away

That there's no way for it to metastasize

It does

She was eight years old

Our first day of grade three

When she got called ugly

We both got moved to the back of the class

So we would stop getting bombarded by spit balls

But the school halls were a battleground

Where we found ourselves outnumbered day after wretched day

We used to stay inside for recess

Because outside was worse

Outside we'd have to rehearse running away

Or learn to stay still like statues giving no clues that we were there

In grade five they taped a sign to the front of her desk

That read beware of dog

To this day

Despite a loving husband

She doesn't think she's beautiful

Because of a birthmark

That takes up a little less than half of her face

Kids used to say she looks like a wrong answer

That someone tried to erase

But couldn't quite get the job done

And they'll never understand

That she's raising two kids

Whose definition of beauty

Begins with the word mom

Because they see her heart

Before they see her skin

Because she's only ever always been amazing

He

Was a broken branch

Grafted onto a different family tree

Adopted

Not because his parents opted for a different destiny

He was three when he became a mixed drink

Of one part left alone

And two parts tragedy

Started therapy in 8th grade

Had a personality made up of tests and pills

Lived like the up hills were mountains

And the down hills were cliffs

Four fifths suicidal

A tidal wave of antidepressants

And an adolescence of being called popper

One part because of the pills

And ninety nine parts because of the cruelty

He tried to kill himself in grade ten

When a kid who could still go home to mom and dad

Had the audacity to tell him "get over it" as if depression

Is something that can be remedied

By any of the contents found in a first aid kit

To this day

He is a stick on TNT lit from both ends

Could describe to you in detail the way the sky bends

In the moments before it's about to fall

And despite an army of friends

Who all call him an inspiration

He remains a conversation piece between people

Who can't understand

Sometimes becoming drug free

Has less to do with addiction

And more to do with sanity

We weren't the only kids who grew up this way

To this day

Kids are still being called names

The classics were

Hey stupid

Hey spaz

Seems like every school has an arsenal of names

Getting updated every year

And if a kid breaks in a school

And no one around chooses to hear

Do they make a sound?

Are they just the background noise

Of a soundtrack stuck on repeat

When people say things like

Kids can be cruel?

Every school was a big top circus tent

And the pecking order went

From acrobats to lion tamers

From clowns to carnies

All of these were miles ahead of who we were

We were freaks

Lobster claw boys and bearded ladies

Oddities

Juggling depression and loneliness playing solitaire spin the bottle

Trying to kiss the wounded parts of ourselves and heal

But at night

While the others slept

We kept walking the tightrope

It was practice

And yeah

Some of us fell

But I want to tell them

That all of this shit

Is just debris

Leftover when we finally decide to smash all the things we thought

We used to be

And if you can't see anything beautiful about yourself

Get a better mirror

Look a little closer

Stare a little longer

Because there's something inside you

That made you keep trying

Despite everyone who told you to quit

You built a cast around your broken heart

And signed it yourself

You signed it

"They were wrong"

Because maybe you didn't belong to a group or a click

Maybe they decided to pick you last for basketball or everything

Maybe you used to bring bruises and broken teeth

To show and tell but never told

Because how can you hold your ground

If everyone around you wants to bury you beneath it

You have to believe that they were wrong

They have to be wrong

Why else would we still be here?

We grew up learning to cheer on the underdog

Because we see ourselves in them

We stem from a root planted in the belief

That we are not what we were called we are not abandoned cars stalled out and sitting empty on some highway

And if in some way we are

Don't worry

We only got out to walk and get gas

We are graduating members from the class of

Fuck off we made it

Not the faded echoes of voices crying out

Names will never hurt me

Of course

They did

But our lives will only ever always

Continue to be

A balancing act

That has less to do with pain

And more to do with beauty.

**Comments:**

**Thank you for reading. If possible, Review! And cry! Don't forget about crying!**


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